Losing a pet is never easy. You and your family will deal with many different emotions and feelings over the next few days, weeks and months. After much research, I’ve gathered some of the best advice I could find on grief management.
While these tips aren't exhaustive, they do provide some general suggestions to help you through this most difficult time. If you, or a family member, need more help, please ask your veterinarian or local shelter to recommend a pet loss counselor or support group.
First, take care of you…
- Give yourself permission to grieve. (Cry, shout, get angry) Be honest about your feelings.
- Don't hide your feelings.
- Take care of your body. Get plenty of rest, proper nutrition and exercise. Drink lots of water. (This is important!)
- Talk! Talk about your pet and the loss to others who can empathize with your loss.
- Maintain structure in your life. Continue the same activities you did before your loss.
- Be patient with yourself. Your grieving process may be different from everyone else's.
- Give yourself permission to backslide. While you may think you're handling things quite well, you may find yourself having "a hard day" from time to time. That's okay.
- Consult your own religious/spiritual "Higher Power."
If you have kids…
- Never assume a child is too young to grieve.
- Give them permission to work through their grief.
- Allow them to shed tears. Avoid telling them to "be strong" or not to feel sad.
- Encourage your child to talk openly and honestly about the pet's death.
- Be honest. Never tell them your pet was "put to sleep" unless you explain the difference between going to sleep at night and death.
- Explain the permanency of death.
- Reassure them that the pet's death had nothing to do with them.
- Discuss death and dying openly & honestly.
- Tell their teacher(s) about your pet's death.
- Give your child plenty of hugs & reassurance.
- Help them memorialize your pet (i.e. drawing, writing, create a small shrine)
- Include them in everything that's going on surrounding the death of your pet.
If you have other pets…
- Keep their routines as normal as possible.
- Don't overdo it. Extra attention may lead to separation anxiety when you leave.
- Allow pets to get closure by seeing / smelling the dead pet (if possible).* If this isn't possible, allow them to sniff the dead pet's collar.
- Allow remaining pets to work out the new dominance hierarchy themselves.
- Don't go get a new pet to circumvent the grieving process. Wait until you're emotionally ready and then by all means, share your love and home with another animal!